COLLECTED AND CONTRIBUTED BY CCT TEAM

 

BEST AIR PASSENGER INFORMATION

1. FLY WITH US AND ENJOY TWO WEEKS STAY IN ICU OF ANY HOSPITAL ON OUR PANEL

2. WE ASSURE YOU A FLIGHT VERY CLOSE TO THE CITY OF YOUR CHOICE SO THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE A CLOSE LOOK

3. BRING A LIFE JACKET AND LIFE INSURANCE BEFORE YOU BOARD OUR FLIGHT

4. WE OFFER YOU COMPLIMENTARY CHAMPAGNE BEFORE CRASH LANDING

5. WE HAVE STAFF WITH LOTS OF EXPERIENCE OF COUNSELING THE NEXT OF KIN

6. ALL OUR PILOTS ARE TERMINALLY ILL

7. YOU CAN ASK US ABOUT OUR OUT OF COURT SETTLEMENTS

 

ATC to Flight 123: "Slow to 300 knots please." After several moments, it was apparent the crew had not complied with the first speed reduction and was overtaking the inbound plane ahead of them.

ATC to Flight 123: "Slow to 280 knots." This was soon followed by a request for 250 knots from ATC when the crew still had not slowed the airplane.

Finally, the now-frustrated controller ordered, "Gentlemen, the number is 250. Either slow to it or turn to it!"

 

 

An Aircraft was having an engine problem. After some time the engine was on fire and the Pilot in Command asked the cabin crew to ask all passengers to return to their seats and fasten seat belts for an emergency landing. A few minutes later the Pilot asked the flight attendant if every one was buckled in and ready ." All set back here" said the cabin crew, "except the lawyers are still going around distributing their business cards."